Beating the Clock

How do you deal with the stress of life's demands? What solutions work best for you and why? Does your significant other or family use the same technique?


     I hear daily that my life must be stressful. I also hear that I must be superwoman because I just smile and move through life. I have no free time. As a matter of fact, I have been with at least one of my kids all day, every day since fall of 2008. While I would love a break, it’s just not plausible at this time. My life IS stressful. I am a full time college student. I am a mom of 7, with 5 under the age of 6. I do home school my 4 oldest. My husband does work long hours (and sometimes, like now, we are miles apart. 350 to be exact).


     To deal with life’s stress and demands, I do many things. Each day, I make lists of what needs to be done. I have a list for “must-do” and a list for “do if I have time”. I remember to tell myself that life does not always go to plan. I remind myself to work around life’s “curveballs”. My biggest thing is to stay flexible each day.


     Sometimes things happen that tend to stress me out – an argument, kids misbehaving, finances. I usually tend to mentally stress myself out over them. Everything tends to work out in the end, for the most part.


     My husband’s technique to handle stress is to work. I’m not sure how this works for him, but it’s what he chooses to do. He even says he doesn’t stress about much because he knows I’m stressing enough for the both of us.

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Having Children

What do you think about people who choose not to have children?
Honestly, this depends on the day. When my children have been giving me a tough time, I think people who choose not to have children are smart. But, on the more common occasions of having special moments with my children, I wonder why some people choose to miss out on parenthood. In all seriousness, I feel the decision to have children is a personal and private decision. It should not be society’s decision, but the individual’s decision. In no way should a person be judged for their decision on children.


What is your choice? What do you say to people who ask about it?
I knew that I always wanted children. I said my limit was 4, but I ended up with 7. I always get the questions of “Why so many?”, “Don’t you know what causes that?”, and “What did you do? Keep trying until you got that boy?” (I had 6 girls before my only son). At first I would answer these questions with detailed answers. However, now I am tired of them and answer very shortly, “My decision to have children and how many is my business.” I still get the question, “Are you done now?” To which I answer, “And if I’m not?” It normally ends the children conversation.

Plagiarism:

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Making Love Work

Do you think that the qualities described in the reading are the most important ones in a love relationship? Please reference specific qualities from the text.  If not then what is?
            I think all the qualities described in this article are very important in a love relationship. It would be very difficult for me to name one that is more important than the others. I feel the “You Can Accept Others as They Are” quality is important. The article states “sometimes people fall in love with an image, not the reality, and spend their relationships resenting that their partners cannot be what they never were.” I think this happens a lot. I think in the beginning of a relationship people are “in love” with a vision of how they want their partner to be. Then as the relationship progresses and they realize reality is different than the image, they don’t know how to cope. I also think some people spend their time looking for the “perfect” partner, sometimes to the point of not realizing they have their “as close to perfect as you can get” partner all along.
            I also find “You Are Willing to Forgive” as an important quality. If you cannot forgive a partner for a past mistake, then how can you truly move forward? Love relationships should be made stronger, not torn down by revenge.
            I feel each of the 10 qualities discussed bring about communication. Communication is vital to a strong, healthy relationship.

Are there any aspects of your own relationship that need work, and do you talk to your partner about it?
            I really enjoyed this reading. In all honesty, I see points in each of the qualities that need work in my marriage. This reading has shown me ways to approach my concerns that are not as blunt as the way I usually come off. This reading has also shown me that the points I feel need work, on both our parts, are valid. One that I feel I struggle with is “Your Love Is Selfless”. I don’t struggle with it in the sense of his interests; feelings, etc. are below mine. Quite opposite, in fact I always put his needs ahead of my own.

Plagiarism:

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Gender Stereotypes

What are the gender stereotypes for your gender? Do your experiences support these stereotypes and would you like to change any?

     Historically women have been viewed as frail, helpless, and delicate. Women have been viewed as dependent, emotional and passive. Women are supposed to always look put together. Heavy emphasis is put on their looks and how they present themselves. Women are thought to be weaker than men. Women are thought to have only jobs that require little to no manual labor.

     My personal experiences do not support these stereotypes. I am not dependent. I am not passive; but quite the opposite. I am not frail or delicate. In fact, I was once a firefighter. I can be a high maintenance type of girl and sometimes I can throw my hair up in a ponytail and go.

I know women who work in construction and I know men who cannot handle manual labor. I know men who make better parents than women do. We are each an individual and there is no clear way either gender should be.

     I would like to change all stereotyping. But, in reference to this question, I would like to change that women are viewed as frail. Not all women are frail, weak, passive, etc. Women should not be viewed as a damsel in distress needing to be saved. 

Plagiarism:

Using someone else's work without giving proper credit, is plagiarism. If you use my work, please reference it.

Family of 1950’s vs. Family of Now

Family of 1950’s vs. Family of Now

     Along with the reading in the book, I also interviewed my grandmother. My grandparents were married in 1950 and their two children were born in 1954 and 1956.

     In the 1950’s, the male was the breadwinner while the wife stayed home and cared for the home and children. Now, families are two –income or sometimes it is the wife that is the breadwinner and the husband stays home.

     In the 1950’s, everyday life was more family oriented. The everyday life of today’s family involves parents’ working (both parents, long hours, even sometimes parents working away from the home city or state), television, computers, video games, etc. My grandmother told me stories of my father, uncle and their cousins always being together and playing at each other’s houses and weekends away at the family beach cottage. She notices that my children prefer television, computers, video games, etc.

     In the 1950’s, the divorce rate was low (around 9%). In today’s family, the divorce is common (around 45%). My grandmother commented that in the 1950’s, it was expected of you to work out your marital problems. Divorce was reserved for major, irreconcilable problems. Today, many couples just throw their arms up in defeat at the hint of a problem. Divorce is much more common now and many times could probably be worked out.

     I asked my grandmother the question, “Which family is better: the 1950’s family or the family of now? And Why?” Her answer was the 1950’s family because the values have changed too much.

     In my opinion, both families have their advantages and disadvantages. I think that today’s family is better in regards to family roles. The role of the woman has changed tremendously and for the better. It is now acceptable for women to work outside of the home and even be the breadwinner. It is also now acceptable for the man to stay home and take care of the kids and such while the women work. However, I tend to agree with my grandmother that the values of marriage and family have changed; and not for the better. While some of today’s population does still have the marriage and family values of the past, others do not. 

Plagiarism:

Using someone else's work without giving proper credit, is plagiarism. If you use my work, please reference it.